Why China?

For my second adoption that is easy to answer…I went there for TK in 2012 and there was never any doubt in my mind that I would go back.

The first time around it was a little harder to decide.  I started out hoping to adopt from Guatemala, but that was about the time they stopped doing international adoptions.  I then considered Russia and Kazakhstan (a country located between Russia and China).  Russia was just too expensive and required too many trips so I settled on Kazakhstan.  The available children were young and the adoption process required daily visits with the child in the orphanage for two weeks before you could proceed with the adoption.  I liked this requirement because it would give the child time to become comfortable with the parent(s) before they were taken away from everything familiar to them.  Unfortunately, just before I finished all of the necessary paperwork, Kazakhstan also stopped doing adoptions while they made some changes to their process.  When they reopened several months later, they no longer allowed singles to adopt.

About that same time, China was again starting to allow singles to adopt.  I had never considered China before because it just wasn’t an option for me.  So I did some research and found the process to be pretty straightforward.  The “catch” was that singles were only allowed to adopt “special focus” children.  These were the children with more severe needs or children who were older and/or had been waiting longer for families.  I started to talk to agencies and was able to view some of the children that were available.  This gave me a good idea of what some of the more common needs were for these children.  I decided there were some needs I could handle so I started the process and it turned out to be the best thing I’ve ever done.

I also get asked why I didn’t adopt from the US.  There are several reasons, but in the end, it just wasn’t the right choice for me.  Yes, there are kids in the US that need homes too, but my child(ren) happened to be in China.

"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle but will never break.” - Chinese Proverb

Are you sure?

I’ve heard that question several times since I starting telling people I was going to adopt again.  I started thinking about going back before I even left China two and a half years ago.  There was never any doubt in my mind that I’d do it again, it was just a matter of when. 

When I brought TK home, I really thought I’d be starting the paperwork again within about a year.  However, it never felt like the right time.  Whenever I thought about getting started, something would happen to make me wait.  I think it was God’s way of telling me it wasn’t time yet.  Now everything seems to be falling into place and it feels right.    

I started this adoption expecting that it will be a year or longer before I bring a child home.  That will give me time to consider what our daily life will be like with another little one in the family and also to get TK used to the idea of having a brother or sister.  I know we’re ready, but I also know it won’t be easy for any of us so I don’t want to rush.  TK has had me to himself for almost three years and I don’t expect him to start sharing easily.  It was several months before TK and I settled in after he came home and adding another child could really set him back.  There were many tantrums, tears and struggles before we got to where we are now.  It’s a little scary to think about doing it again, but I know it’s worth it.  The transition could be harder than it was with TK or it could be easier.  I’m not the first single person to have more than one child.  It’s an adjustment whether you adopt or give birth.  I can’t let fear of the unknown stop me from moving forward.  

So, yes, I am sure.

“Fear is temporary, regret is forever.” - Unknown