iPad winner and Thank You

The winner of the iPad was Carol Hanson.

I want to thank everyone who donated to and/or shared about the iPad giveaway.  I'm so grateful for all the support I've been receiving as I go through this process again.  There are no words to express how much it means to me.

How's it going?

When I applied with my agency back in November of 2014, I let them know about the child I was hoping to adopt.  Either a boy or a girl, preferably under 4 years old and also a list of special needs I felt I could handle.  As I went through the process, I decided there were some needs I could cross off that list.  My agency has a webpage where they post pictures of children that are “assigned” to them (and I’ve spent a lot of time on that webpage!), but there are many more children available for adoption.  After my paperwork was sent to China in October, they started sending me files of children that matched what I was open to.  Reading those files and seeing those faces is so hard.  I wish I could say “yes” to all of them, but I have to be realistic and admit that I can’t help them all.  

iPad Air Giveaway

Just in time for Christmas...I’m doing an iPad giveaway! Every donation to my adoption account by December 14th will be entered into a drawing for a 16gb iPad Air.

$10 = 1 entry
$25 = 3 entries

Donations can be made by cash or check.  You can also donate with PayPal* (lori_stich@hotmail.com).  Tax deductible donations can be made at: https://purecharity.com/lori-stichs-adoption.  There are links on the right for Pure Charity (top) and PayPal ("Donate" button).

 *If using PayPal please select "Send Money to Friends and Family" (and DO NOT note giveaway or iPad).

iPad Air will be delivered or shipped in time for Christmas

A little progress

It’s been a while since I’ve given an update.  I’m making progress at about the pace I expected.  My paperwork is complete (for this step) and it’s been in China since the beginning of October.  Now I'm just waiting for a match.  It’s hard to say how long the wait will be.  I could hear from my agency tomorrow or I could wait a few months.  I’m trying not to think about it and just go on with my daily routine, but it’s always in the back of my mind.  Thankfully, the holidays are coming and that should keep me busy.

Because my paperwork is already in China I could (should) end up travelling about 2-3 months after I am matched.  For my first adoption, I found a child before my paperwork went to China and had to wait about 6 months before traveling.  That was quicker than most families because some of my paperwork had been started, but still was a long time to sit and wonder how much he was growing and changing.

While I’m waiting I’ve been applying for grants and considering other ways to come up with the money to pay the remaining fees.  (Don’t get me wrong, there is no danger of me not completing this adoption but there are some big payments due at the end.)  For my first adoption, I was able to take on a part time job (or two), but this time having to pay someone to babysit while I work would not leave me with much extra income.  Instead I’m working on making things I can sell and some other fundraising ideas that have worked for other families.

November is National Adoption Month.  I first saw the following quote a few years ago and I’ve been seeing it quite a bit over the past few weeks.  I get tears in my eyes every single time.

“A child born to another woman calls me mommy.  The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me.” – Jody Landers

Where am I at in the process?

Adopting from China is a pretty straightforward process.  The steps are pretty much the same for everyone.  There is a lot of paperwork, but since I’ve done this before, I think it will be easier this time around.  I started by applying to WACAP last November.  (WACAP is the agency I used for my first adoption.)  In January, I applied to Evolve to have my home study completed.  They did my last home study so the process was pretty quick this time because they could use the previous one as a guide and just make changes to update it.  Once my home study was approved by WACAP, I sent my I-800A application to USCIS.  This is the request to US immigration to allow me to adopt from China.  Fingerprints are required before they will approve an application and they assign a date and time to have it done.  (The fingerprints have to be done in their office so it’s not as easy as just going down to the local police department.)  My fingerprint appointment was on May 28^th and I received my approval notice on June 1^st.  Sometimes this process takes as long as 90 days, but I got lucky and it took about 30 days from the date my application was mailed until I received my approval notice.

Now I just have to gather some other paperwork (employment verification letter, background letter from the sheriff’s office, and a few other items) to complete my dossier.  Once I have everything notarized, I’ll take it to the Secretary of State’s Office for certification (verifying all the notarizations).  After that I’ll send it to a courier who will take it to the Chinese Consulate in Chicago for authentication and after I get everything back from her it can be sent to WACAP who will send it to China.

My goal is to have all of these steps completed by the end of September.  Then I just wait to be “matched”.  Once I'm matched I should travel within six months or less.  I would like to be matched by the end of the year or early next year, but that’s out of my hands so I’ll try to be patient while I wait.

“God has perfect timing; never early, never late.  It takes a little patience and it takes a lot of faith, but it’s worth the wait.” - Unknown

Why China?

For my second adoption that is easy to answer…I went there for TK in 2012 and there was never any doubt in my mind that I would go back.

The first time around it was a little harder to decide.  I started out hoping to adopt from Guatemala, but that was about the time they stopped doing international adoptions.  I then considered Russia and Kazakhstan (a country located between Russia and China).  Russia was just too expensive and required too many trips so I settled on Kazakhstan.  The available children were young and the adoption process required daily visits with the child in the orphanage for two weeks before you could proceed with the adoption.  I liked this requirement because it would give the child time to become comfortable with the parent(s) before they were taken away from everything familiar to them.  Unfortunately, just before I finished all of the necessary paperwork, Kazakhstan also stopped doing adoptions while they made some changes to their process.  When they reopened several months later, they no longer allowed singles to adopt.

About that same time, China was again starting to allow singles to adopt.  I had never considered China before because it just wasn’t an option for me.  So I did some research and found the process to be pretty straightforward.  The “catch” was that singles were only allowed to adopt “special focus” children.  These were the children with more severe needs or children who were older and/or had been waiting longer for families.  I started to talk to agencies and was able to view some of the children that were available.  This gave me a good idea of what some of the more common needs were for these children.  I decided there were some needs I could handle so I started the process and it turned out to be the best thing I’ve ever done.

I also get asked why I didn’t adopt from the US.  There are several reasons, but in the end, it just wasn’t the right choice for me.  Yes, there are kids in the US that need homes too, but my child(ren) happened to be in China.

"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle but will never break.” - Chinese Proverb

Are you sure?

I’ve heard that question several times since I starting telling people I was going to adopt again.  I started thinking about going back before I even left China two and a half years ago.  There was never any doubt in my mind that I’d do it again, it was just a matter of when. 

When I brought TK home, I really thought I’d be starting the paperwork again within about a year.  However, it never felt like the right time.  Whenever I thought about getting started, something would happen to make me wait.  I think it was God’s way of telling me it wasn’t time yet.  Now everything seems to be falling into place and it feels right.    

I started this adoption expecting that it will be a year or longer before I bring a child home.  That will give me time to consider what our daily life will be like with another little one in the family and also to get TK used to the idea of having a brother or sister.  I know we’re ready, but I also know it won’t be easy for any of us so I don’t want to rush.  TK has had me to himself for almost three years and I don’t expect him to start sharing easily.  It was several months before TK and I settled in after he came home and adding another child could really set him back.  There were many tantrums, tears and struggles before we got to where we are now.  It’s a little scary to think about doing it again, but I know it’s worth it.  The transition could be harder than it was with TK or it could be easier.  I’m not the first single person to have more than one child.  It’s an adjustment whether you adopt or give birth.  I can’t let fear of the unknown stop me from moving forward.  

So, yes, I am sure.

“Fear is temporary, regret is forever.” - Unknown